Thursday, June 02, 2005

There once was a hermit named Dave . . . 

Our house has become a center for poetry writing over the past week. It all started last Thursday when one of the TDS attorneys in Iraq posted a lizard-poetry-writing challenge on his blog. Apparently, his office is overrun with lizards, and he and his daughter have been writing lizard poems back and forth. He challenged his readers to submit poems of their own and even offered up photos of his office invaders as inspiration. I couldn't help myself, so I penned the following:

"With Apologies to Poe"

Once upon a midday steamy, while I pondered slightly dreamy,
Over case file after case file to keep my clients out of jail,
As I sat there, nearly sleeping, silently there came a creeping,
Yet another critter sneaking, suddenly I turned quite pale.
"Where's the bug spray?" I was frantic. "Beast, be gone!" I did wail.

Quoth the lizard, "Where's my tail?"
I shared my poem with Annabelle, who was inspired to make one of her own. She worked furiously for a couple of hours and came up with this:

"Major Efaw's Lizard-Bug War" by Annabelle Taylor

Of Lizards, Spiders, Geckos, and Fleas,
All of them sworn enemies.
And one lizard said as he bit an apple core,
"I declare a lizard-bug war."

Everyone agreed, and started to prepare,
For everyone was fighting, and every lizard cared.
They met some spiders at the gate, and everyone was ready.
Those spiders didn't look hard to beat, for they were weak and petty.

They battled the spiders for a few minutes,
And beat them with much ease.
When they tell the lizard king,
He will be quite pleased.

The lizards got through the city gate,
And then they started to fight.
The bugs lost spiders by day,
and lost cockroaches by night.

By the next day the bugs had lost,
To the so-called Lizard-Beasts.
The lizards tied napkins around their necks,
And had a huge bug army feast.
Annabelle found that once she got into poetry mode, she just couldn't turn it off. So she has spent the past few days working on her newest project; she is writing poems about Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events books. This morning she finished her poem for the first book, The Bad Beginning. Granted, I'm her mom and therefore not entirely impartial, but I think it kicks some serious poetry butt:

The Baudelaires, a terrible tale,
Full of sorrow and woe
For misfortune follows them
Wherever they must go.

Their story starts at the beach
And then their lives had turned
When Mr. Poe had told them
That their house had burned.

When the three children got the news
They felt as if they were locked in a cage.
But the children will get their parents' fortune
When Violet comes of age.

"You will need a guardian," Mr. Poe said,
"And I will find one for you.
Come to my house for a bit
And I'll see what I can do."

They saw their guardian, Count Olaf,
Standing at the door,
As he told them that they must
Do each and every chore.

That night for dinner the Baudelaires
Made pasta with a sauce.
Count Olaf hated it
And threw it with a toss.

Then Count Olaf went mad
And locked Sunny in a cage.
"I'll get your fortune," he said to Violet,
"Before you come of age."

"I'm very sorry," he said the next day,
"And I have a treat for you.
You can perform in my play,
Your lines are just
I do."

The children all agreed,
But nervous they were very
Since none of the orphans knew
That Violet would have to marry.

They got to the theater
And changed into different clothes.
They didn't know what they had to do
Since the plot only Olaf knows.

The Marvelous Marriage was Olaf's play,
They were at the marrying scene.
"I've got you now!" Count Olaf cried.
Not yet, Violet's just fourteen.

The police carried Olaf away
And his sidekick with a hook.
"I'll get you Baudelaires," he shouted.
"Just wait for the second book!"
Literary agents may contact Annabelle through my email address in the sidebar.

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