Monday, March 28, 2005

My life is one big Monty Python sketch 

First thing every morning, I get online to check my email, catch up on my web board, and see if anything new has been posted to my favorite blogs. It's my quiet time alone, and I cherish it.

For some reason, Mike got up earlier than usual the other day and decided to visit with me while I went through my online routine. He has huge plans for our downstairs video game room, and he wanted to tell me all about them. I'm sorry, but the internet is my morning cup of coffee, and frankly I just wanted him to leave me the heck alone, but he wasn't taking my subtle (and not so subtle) hints. Jabber jabber jabber he wants more seating space down there jabber jabber jabber we need a console for storing the video games jabber jabber jabber it's just too crowded in there with that foot locker and those storage bins jabber jabber jabber if only we could move them into the other room jabber jabber jabber.

There is no quicker way to get rid of one of my children than to suggest a cleaning project, so I say: "OK, well, here's what you can do this morning! Drag out the box for the K'Nex ferris wheel that has been sitting down there partially assembled FOR OVER A YEAR and take it apart and put it away!!!" So take that! Oddly enough though, he doesn't melt away like the witch in The Wizard of Oz after she gets the bucket therapy.

Instead, he nods and says calmly and perhaps a bit reproachfully, "You know, if you're trying to make that sound dreadful, it isn't working."


Mike (fearfully): "And eating a pickle?"

Me: "YES! And eating a pickle!!!"

Flash forward to this morning. We are doing one of our rare days of "real school," and Annabelle's geography lesson is all about the rotation of the earth and its revolution around the sun. I decide to get creative, so I get out our globe and a flashlight.

"Here, Annabelle," I say, handing her the flashlight. "You can be the sun!"

Mike reaches for the snap on his pants and pretends to unfasten them as he turns around and bends over announcing, "And I shall be the moon!"

Smart ass.

An old favorite:

"You are such a smartass!"

"Yes, but it is better than being a dumbass, and someday perhaps I'll grow up and become a wiseass!"
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